Waiting for me

The spiders wait.  He knows them all, and they do what he wants.  His memories are real, and the books he has are more than that.  There is another way.  More than just childhood memories gone. Sometimes he takes the entire childhood.  There is always a price.  You don't just forget, it never happened.  It has to again tho.  Else the SilenceVoidNothing comes.  When his work takes from the others, they always come.  They always come.  And the spiders still wait. 

Almost gave it up

It's been almost two weeks since lunch with Jim.  I tried to just give up my search.  No I didn't.  There are secrets that I'm keeping from myself that a part of me really doesn't want to know.  Since that one post, I haven't talked to myself since.  I've been deleting them.  I thought maybe I was in the clear.  I found out what 7224 was.  Not enough, there is more.  I followed up on it.  You haven't found he library, the spiders wait.  I also haven't seen the dog in a while.  Till last night.  It attacked me again.  I was outside, with no idea how I got there.  I fought it off again, or maybe it just let me go.  It bit my face again.  Then I saw my son.  He was outside in his raincoat.  He was so pale.  His skin was almost blue.  Just standing there.  Then gone.  I ran back inside and he was asleep in his bed.  I understand what the message was.  I can give it up.  And I will lose my family.  The dog will take them instead.  I can't run, I've said that before.  I can't give it up either.  I need to find out why I follow the blogs I did when I set this up in my sleep.  I need to find out who owned 72 24th street before it's current owners.  I don't know how I know, but the answers will save me from that dog. 

Still sleep walking/ Lunch with Jim.

Last night I got home around 3 am and went to bed.  I woke up this morning in Ogden Marsh.  Too far to walk, and my car was no where to be found.  Had to call my wife.  She has been remarkably understanding about all of this.  She doesn't read this blog, and I've kept some things from her.  I've added it to my online accounts spread sheet so if anything ever happens to me she'll know everything.  I asked her why she doesn't read it, and she said simply that "It's yours."

Lunch with Jim.  About Five miles away from where they found me, they found a pile of stray dogs, skinned.  The blood they found all over me that night?  What wasn't mine was dog blood.  Jim also told me something else.  He said that I had been screaming incoherently.  That wasn't true.  He told me what I said, and that it's been haunting his dreams.
"They are mine!  They were never forsaken!  I loved them!  You can't have them, I saved them!  He said you would come but you can't have them!"

Who the hell am I talking about?

72 24th st ogden marsh IA 50212

It's just a little house, out in the country.  There is a family who lives there, I'll call them the Smiths for now.  I just stopped by and knocked.  Told them that I was looking into finding an old friend and that this was an address I got.  They told me they had only been living there two years, so it was possible.  Their names where John and Jane (Hence the Smiths, possibly a more generic set of names?)  They invited me in and John and I had a beer.  I asked about who they got it from and they directed me to the only Realtor in town.  Inside I noticed that they had a lot medical stuff just lying around, and I finally got nosey and asked if everyone was alright.  They laughed and said yes.  Evidently John was born without one of his legs.  He showed me the fake one he was wearing, I hadn't noticed.  Jane couldn't have kids.  So when they wanted a child, they adopted one that had a medical problem.  He was sleeping now.  Evidently he was abandoned at a hospital with severe frostbite all over his face. 
"It was like his face was gone." 
What the fuck?  I mean seriously, what did I know about this?  How do I know this kid?  My dreaming self freaked out about it before. 
I need to go to the realtor, find out who lived there before.  Also the hospital where their kid was left.  First however, Jim wants to grab lunch.  He says it's about the night I attacked him. 

In era of timelessness...

It has been waiting.  Time doesn't mean what most people think.  I am me and not.  I am watching myself.  There is nothing left holding it back anymore.  The deal has been struck, and the spiders are hungry.  The harbinger has left his mark again, and the forsaken will claim what is his.  Now truths will come to light.  I tried to remember before, to stop what was, and what will be.  I know now, that my terror is timeless.  I'm sorry adam, I failed me.  Go to 72 24th.  It begins again.  

-timelessness

Waste of Time/Not healing

Had the visit with the head shrinker today.  That was pointless.  I get that we aren't a large city, so choice is kinda limited, but this guy was worthless.  I think all he did was have wikipedia on his laptop that he "kept his notes on."  I mean, seriously, I looked up the stuff he said and I swear he was just reading the pages.  Whatever, I'll go again next week cause it'll keep Jim happy.  He did take all my ammo and my gun like I asked him too.  It makes me sleep a little safer.  I still have a bunch of knives and my martial arts weapons, but those don't seem to be what I go for in my sleep. 
My face is not healing right.  The two scratches where the dog bit me are still bright red.  The doc says they don't seem infected, but they are just not healing.  He thought I just got them, not long ago. 
I haven't seen the dog since the night it showed up in my house.  I know where he's at tho.  Don't know if I want to go there or not.  Finding out is not an option, but ... I just don't want to go. 

God Save me

I just woke up standing over my son with my shotgun pointed at him.  The dog was in my house.   It barked at me, that's why I woke up.  That dog probably saved my sons life.  What the hell is going on?  Oh my god, I love my son more than anything else.  I'm cleaning out all the ammo and giving it to Jim.  Oh my god.  The dog left.  It dropped a utility bill.  It had my name on it.  72 24th st. Ogden Marsh IA.  I've never lived there. I need help.  Can anyone really help me?